i almost became fish food and all i got was this lousy t shirt

well we went half way to hawaii, the pilot comes on and says we are having fuel tank problems, so we turn around and head back, but like right away the flight attendents are like put up your tray tables and seat backs. that was fucked cause we were in the middle of the ocean. then we circle the channel islands for like 4 hours to "burn fuel" then we come in for a landing and smash so hard into the runway that i thought the plane broke in half. meanwhile there are fire trucks waiting for us onthe tarmac. they then speed up and started spraying fire shit on the plane the whole way down the runway. we do that for like 20 min. the whole time the dudes dont even say shit, everyone is silent on the plane not wanting to admit that their colons just failed and that they were sitting in puddles of their own excrement.
-tr omatic mis manager